Cured
by Christine M. Greenleaf
Summary: No one is more surprised than Batman when Harley Quinn returns to her therapist roots and manages to cure the Joker. Free from their insanity, the former clown couple begin to lead normal, healthy, productive lives, but the Dark Knight suspects there's more to the Joker's rehabilitation than meets the eye.
1. Chapter 1

**Cured**

"Harley, this is unexpected," said Dr. Leland. "We already have a session scheduled for Monday, don't we?"

"Yeah, but I needed to talk to you now, Joan," said Harley Quinn. She sat on the sofa, staring at her hands, her big, blue eyes focused on some point on the ground. She was clearly thinking hard about something.

"Well, that's what I'm here for," replied Dr. Leland, picking up her notepad and pen.

Harley looked up at her. "I wanted to ask if I'm still an accredited psychiatrist," she said.

Dr. Leland stared at her. That wasn't at all what she'd been expecting. "Um…well, you're still qualified as a psychiatrist, of course," she said, slowly. "But considering at the moment you're not quite in your right mind, I doubt you would be allowed to practice psychiatry again until you've rehabilitated yourself."

Harley sighed heavily. "I thought you'd say that," she murmured. "But that's gonna take ages."

"If you're willing to put in the effort, Harley, I know it will be worth your time…" began Dr. Leland.

"Nah, you don't understand, Joan," she murmured. "Even if I do it in a couple months, it still seems too long. I wanna have my position back now."

"Well…I'm afraid that's just not possible, Harley," said Dr. Leland, slowly. "Why the hurry?"

Harley was silent. "I'll be honest with you, Joan," she murmured. "Lately I've just felt that old clock a ticking, and I realized that life is short. And I got dreams and ambitions that just ain't gonna be fulfilled as long as I'm stuck here in Arkham as a homicidal lunatic. But there's something that's keeping me crazy here."

"The Joker," said Dr. Leland, nodding. "Well, y'know, Harley, cutting him out of your life would be the first step on your road to recovery. You don't need him to be happy…"

"Joan, don't be stupid, of course I do," interrupted Harley. "See, that's the thing. If I rehabilitated myself, I'd have to live without Mr. J, and obviously that's outta the question. So there's only one solution to my problem."

Dr. Leland looked at her. "Which is?"

Harley looked back at her. "Well, it's obvious, isn't it? I gotta cure Mr. J."

"Cure…the Joker?" said Dr. Leland, slowly.

"Sure," she replied, shrugging. "If anyone can do it, it's me. I know more about him than anyone else in the world, and I'm a pretty darn good shrink, if I do say so myself. If you'd just give us permission to have a few sessions together, just like we used to, I'm sure I could rehabilitate him."

"Rehabilitate…the Joker?" stammered Dr. Leland. "Harley, do you have any idea how many people have tried and failed…"

"Yeah, but they don't know him like I do," interrupted Harley. "And we love each other, that's gotta help. True love's the most powerful thing in the world, am I right? It'll cure Mr. J. He'll cure himself for me if I want it. He loves me, really."

Dr. Leland stared at her. Of course Harley was crazy, so she shouldn't be surprised at the insanity that came out of her mouth. But this just seemed crazier than usual, even for her. "So…you want my permission for you to analyze the Joker as a professional psychiatrist?" she asked.

"Yeah. You gave it to me before..."

"And look how that turned out," retorted Dr. Leland.

"If it would make you feel better, you could have cameras in the room or something," said Harley. "Y'know, just to make sure we're not getting up to any hanky-panky, like last time. I promise you, Joan, we'll be nothing but professional. I'm tired of the jokes and the games. There comes a time when a gal wants more. And now all this gal wants is to settle down with her loving sweetheart."

Harley looked completely sincere, and Dr. Leland believed her. But she couldn't believe that the Joker would agree to this, or be willing to change just because Harley wanted him to. But then again, what harm could it do? If it didn't work, they would be no worse off than when they'd started. But if it did…but it couldn't. Nothing could cure the Joker. Dr. Leland wasn't even going to get her hopes up anymore.

"Well, I don't see any reason to object," she replied. "As long as we can have cameras in the room, and as long as after your sessions, you return to your cells."

"Sure, Joan, we can do that," said Harley, beaming. "Aw, thanks, you're just the greatest! I know I can cure him, just you wait and see! Soon they'll be no more model citizen than my Mr. J."

"Forgive me if I don't hold my breath," retorted Dr. Leland.

"Can we do it tomorrow? Will you be able to get cameras set up by then?" asked Harley.

"I'll try," replied Dr. Leland.

"You won't regret this, Joan, really," said Harley. "And I'll owe you forever. When me and Mr. J have kids, I'll name the girl Joan after you, how about that?"

"That's very flattering, Harley," replied Dr. Leland, secretly horrified at the idea of them ever having kids.

"Well, guess I'll see you tomorrow, then," said Harley, beaming happily and standing up. "Thanks a million, Joan. You're the best psychiatrist I've ever had."

"Thanks, Harley," she replied. But as Harley skipped out of the room, Dr. Leland began to question her own sanity. Maybe it wasn't a great idea to get Harley's hopes up like this, only to have them dashed when the Joker couldn't be rehabilitated. But unless she tried, Harley wouldn't be convinced of the impossibility of curing him. She had to do this, even though Dr. Leland knew it was a completely futile effort. There was no way to cure the Joker.


	2. Chapter 2

"He seemed reluctant at first, but now it looks like he's really opening up to her," said Dr. Leland, as she watched the interview session from the cameras. Harley was scribbling away at a notepad while the Joker lay on the sofa, talking and gesturing.

"Feeding her more lies," murmured Batman.

"Probably," replied Dr. Leland, nodding. "But what else was I supposed to do?"

"Oh, I'm glad you gave your permission," replied Batman. "I just wish Harley could see what the rest of us do."

"If she could, she wouldn't be in here," sighed Dr. Leland. "She needs to realize she can rehabilitate herself, but she needs to cut that monster out of her life."

"She won't," said Batman. "She's in love with him. She'll never give up on him. That's the problem. That's what keeps her trapped in this endless cycle of abuse and violence from him."

"And can't people fall out of love?" asked Dr. Leland.

"Harley can't," retorted Batman. "At least, I haven't seen any evidence that she can. In a way she's like…a child. And he's her father."

"The Freudian implications of that are tremendously disturbing," said Dr. Leland.

"I don't mean literally – I just mean that's the kinda relationship they have. You don't…stop loving your parents, even when you realize they're not perfect. It's that kind of love, that powerful, natural bond that just can't be broken. Or at least, that's how I see it."

"Y'know, if the whole superhero thing doesn't work out, you could try your hand at psychiatry," said Dr. Leland, smiling. "You've got good insights."

"I'll bear it in mind," replied Batman.

"Hang on, what's going on here?" asked Dr. Leland, noticing that Harley had come over to sit next to the Joker on the sofa. He took her hands and spoke to her, and she kept nodding, saying a few words in return. Then he embraced her tightly and she held him, stroking his hair and whispering to him.

"Oh my God," murmured Dr. Leland, as Joker lifted his face to gaze at Harley again. "He's…crying."

"It's some twisted game," growled Batman. "I'm stopping the session."

He opened the door to see Joker in Harley's arms, crying, "Oh, Harley!"

"It's ok, puddin'," she was whispering, stroking his hair. "It's ok now."

"Stop the act," muttered Batman. "Whatever joke it is, it's not funny."

"Does it look like he's laughing to you?" demanded Harley, glaring up at him. "He's had a real breakthrough, Bats – you should try to be a little more sympathetic."

"Oh, I've fallen for the sympathy gag before," retorted Batman. "Not this time."

"You ever seen him cry before?" snapped Harley.

"No," admitted Batman.

"Neither have I," she whispered. "Oh, puddin'. Oh, my poor, poor, puddin', it's ok now. Shh, don't cry."

Joker looked up at Batman, wiping his eyes. "Jesus, Bats, I'm sorry," he murmured. "All these years I've put you through hell, and it's only because_ I_ was going through hell. You understand that, right? You gotta understand that."

"You can stop now," retorted Batman. "It's not going to work, Joker. I don't believe you for a second."

"I get why you wouldn't," he said, nodding. "No one's gonna be able to trust me for a long time, even my precious Harley girl. And why should she, after the way I treated her? I promise I'll do better in the future, baby," he said, taking her hand. "You shouldn't have stayed with me as long as you have."

"What else could I do? I love you, Mr. J," she murmured, kissing him gently.

He kissed her hand tenderly. "I will change, baby, I promise. I have changed already. And I'm gonna prove I'm trustworthy, to you and the world, even if it takes the rest of my life for people to believe me."

"I believe you, puddin'," she breathed.

"I don't," snapped Batman. "Look, Joker, I don't know what game it is this time, but it is a game, or some stupid joke of yours, I know it. So you can stop pretending right now. I'm not going to fall for it."

"I know there's nothing I can say that will make you believe me," he replied. "Like I said, I don't blame you. But my actions will speak louder than my words. From this moment on, I am going to live a normal, sane life. No more obsession. No more craziness. No more Joker."

"Oh, puddin'!" Harley exclaimed, hugging him tightly. "I knew you could do it!"

"Thanks to you, my beautiful angel. I've never deserved you, but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I love you, Harley," he whispered, kissing her.

"Great. But the session's over now – back to your cells," snapped Batman, dragging Joker away and back to his room.

"Bats, I will prove it, I'm a changed man," said Joker. "I don't see the world as mad chaos anymore. Somehow, now it all makes sense, and I feel an utter fool for not seeing it earlier. For not seeing what you and everyone else sees. Violence and mayhem aren't funny anymore – they've never been funny. There are some things that are too serious to joke about."

"Why should I believe you?" demanded Batman. "You're not fooling anyone, Joker, and you won't fool anyone enough to be released from here. Dr. Leland's not stupid enough to fall for a trick like this. It's obviously a joke."

"I told you, Bats, some things are too serious to joke about," replied Joker. "I've regained my sanity. It's no gag. And anyway, you know me well enough to know how my jokes used to work. I mean, our sense of humor was always different, but all my gags were at least funny. So why would I lie about this? Where's the joke in me curing myself?"

"I don't know," growled Batman. "But there is one. And I'm going to figure out what it is."


	3. Chapter 3

"I have no excuse to hold him," said Dr. Leland to Batman. "I have no excuse to hold either of them. It's been six weeks now, and neither of them has done anything remotely insane. I can't keep them here without a reason."

"A reason?" repeated Batman. "They're homicidal maniacs who have caused the death of hundreds of people…"

"And this facility is meant to treat them, and cure them of their insanity. As far as I can tell, it has accomplished exactly what it has set out to do. Or Harley has. This is an asylum for the mentally ill, not a prison. And even if it were, you need a valid reason to be incarcerated. I can't prove they're insane anymore, so I can't keep them locked up here. Believe me, if it were up to me, I would. But there are all kinds of lawyers breathing down my neck about human rights, and the mayor is desperate to release them, to show the public and the media how successful his new procedures have been, that they can rehabilitate even the most extreme patient. As if he had anything to do with it. But it'll help his image, and it'll help the people of Gotham see how much good he's done, so he can be re-elected. I don't have a choice here."

Batman paced the room. "You don't believe them, do you?" he demanded.

Dr. Leland shook her head slowly. "The Joker is a man who commits himself wholeheartedly to his jokes. This is obviously one of those, but I don't understand the point of it. I don't see where it's heading, or what the punchline is meant to be. What I'm not sure about is whether Harley is in on it, or if she genuinely believes she has cured him."

"That doesn't really matter though, does it?" asked Batman. "He's clearly the one in control, as usual, and all that matters is that I figure out what he's up to before he reveals the punchline. It's obviously going to be something horrible."

"Good luck," sighed Dr. Leland. "I'm sorry, Batman. I wish there was some way I could help. But I have to sign the papers for their release today. You understand that, don't you?"

"I understand there's a reason I have to keep fighting injustice in this city," replied Batman, nodding. "It's because the people in power are too blind to see the truth when it stares them in the face. Too blind or too greedy."

"Or both," agreed Dr. Leland. "Which is the reason I, for one, am grateful you're around."

Batman nodded at her in gratitude. "Do what you have to do, Dr. Leland," he murmured. "And so will I."

He strode from her office, passing down the corridors. "Why, it's Batman!" exclaimed a familiar voice. Batman turned to see the Joker sitting on the bed in his cell, reading a book and smiling up at him. "And how are you this fine day, my good man?"

"Joker," growled Batman. "I think the better question is how are you?"

"Me? Oh, I'm perfectly well, perfectly sane, thank you for asking," he replied, beaming. "You know ever since I regained my sanity, the world is sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Wish it had happened a long time ago. So much time wasted in madness – it's a tragedy."

"Speaking of tragedy, that's pretty heavy reading material," said Batman, nodding at the book in Joker's hands. "Didn't know you were a fan of Shakespeare."

"Yeah, I like him because he's got clown characters who are always the only ones who know what's going on," replied Joker, smiling. "It's a great device – making the fool the voice of reason. Funny, really."

"And which one are you reading now?"

"_Othello_. Gotta say, it's really depressing, so I might stop. Don't wanna be brought down from my good mood," he laughed. Batman was surprised by the laugh – it wasn't one of Joker's usual ones. It didn't sound at all maniacal or hysterical or crazy. It was just a perfectly ordinary laugh.

"I do like this guy Othello though," he continued. "Good guy, kinda loved and respected by everyone, got a pretty nice, loyal dame too. Shame it's not gonna work out for him. I ask you, Bats, why do people have to go around being evil? It's not funny to set out to ruin other people's happiness - it's just mean."

"And you're not mean anymore, is that it?" asked Batman.

"Me? I'm not setting out to ruin anyone's happiness. All I want now is a nice, normal life with my beautiful Harley girl at my side. No, I was referring to you, Bats."

"Whose happiness am I setting out to ruin?" asked Batman.

"Well, mine," he replied. "You don't believe I'm being serious about this whole rehabilitation thing, do you? So you're gonna keep picking at it, and me, all because you have a lack of trust. It's not nice, Bats."

"You expect me to just leave you alone?" demanded Batman.

"That would be the sensible thing to do," agreed Joker, nodding. "I'm only saying this so you don't waste your time. But I know it won't do any good. Some people are stuck in a pattern, an endless cycle of violence and suspicion. Glad I broke outta mine."

"You're not fooling anyone," growled Batman.

"Fooling?" Joker repeated, smiling. "I'm all fooled out, Bats. Trust me."

"Not as far as I can throw you," retorted Batman.

"Bet you're gonna miss throwing me!" laughed Joker, with that strange, normal laugh again. "Aw, Bats, I hope someday you can regain your sanity too, and see how silly all this fighting is, and be able to move on with your life. If you want to book an appointment with Harley, I'm sure she'd be willing to help. She's just the kindest, sweetest little thing, and simply the best shrink in the world."

"I don't need a shrink," snapped Batman. "The only way I would need a shrink is if I was crazy enough to trust you. But I don't. I will be watching you, Joker."

"Pretty sure stalking's illegal, but suit yourself, Bats," replied Joker, shrugging.

"Excuse me, Batman, we need to release the patient now," said one of the guards, unlocking Joker's cell. They escorted him out and down the hall to the front door, where Dr. Leland was waiting with Harley.

"The mayor and the press are outside," she said to Batman. "It's a big event. If you wanna slip out around the back…"

But Batman had already disappeared out the window. He climbed to the roof of the asylum and looked down at the sea of people and press. The mayor waited on the steps as the door opened and Dr. Leland brought out Joker and Harley. A million flashes lit up their smiling faces as the guards released them from their handcuffs, and Dr. Leland presented them with their certificates. The mayor then stepped forward to pose for photos shaking both their hands. Then he gestured to Joker and Harley, and the cameras snapped more pictures as Joker took Harley in his arms, bent her over backward, and kissed her. They were then escorted to a car, and climbed inside, waving and smiling at the crowd. Joker looked up and noticed Batman. He smiled, blew him a kiss, then climbed inside the car. It drove off, and Batman looked after it in foreboding. The clowns were free. Legally free this time, and he couldn't drag them back until they made their move. He hoped it wasn't going to be anything too terrible, but the way Joker was so passionately committed to his rehabilitation didn't bode well. It was clearly going to be a real killer joke.


	4. Chapter 4

Bruce Wayne sat in front of the TV, fingers laced together and eyes fixed on the screen. "I didn't realize you were in the habit of watching daytime television, sir," commented Alfred, dusting around him. "I would have thought you'd have seen enough disturbing individuals in your professional capacity without wanting to watch them on morning talkshows."

"I'm watching it in my professional capacity," replied Bruce. "And I think you'll recognize this particular disturbing individual, Alfred."

"Our next guest is someone whose face is familiar to all of Gotham, but perhaps not for the most pleasant reasons," said the bright and bubbly TV presenter. "He's recently been declared certifiably sane and released from Arkham Asylum, and he's been kind enough to come on the show today and tell us his side of the story. Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to the Joker."

"Good heavens," murmured Alfred, as the Joker strode onto the screen to the applause of the audience. He smiled and waved, and then took a seat on the sofa next to the presenter.

"Thank you for coming, Mr. Joker," she said.

"Thanks for having me, Katie," he replied, smiling at her.

"I think we'd all like to know what it is that's brought about this change in you from, forgive me, a homicidal maniac…"

Joker held up his hand. "No forgiveness necessary at all, Katie. I was a homicidal maniac. I'm not proud to admit it, but nor am I going to try to deny my past. Yes, I was a supercriminal. Yes, I did some terrible things, and inflicted untold misery on the people of Gotham. And before I say anything else today, I'd like to apologize to each and every one of you for my behavior. I wasn't entirely in control of my mind, but that's no excuse, and I can only say I'm sorry. I don't deserve forgiveness, I know, and if you can't find it in your hearts, I completely understand. But I've always found this town to be an amazingly generous and accepting place, which is why I love it. I mean, you have to deal with all sorts of insane killers and costumed freaks, and you do, and you carry on, and you show them you can't be beaten. I've always admired Gotham's spirit, and resilience. It's the best goddamn town in the country, and in the world for my money, which is why I plan on making it my permanent home, if it'll have me. What do you say, ladies and gents?"

He was greeted with cheers and thunderous applause, and stood up and bowed. "You are all too terribly kind – I'm so touched," he murmured, smiling gratefully. "Thank you."

"No, thank you, Mr. Joker," said the presenter. "You are such an inspiration, going from what you were to the incredibly charming and sincere man you've become. May I ask what's your secret?"

"It's no secret, Katie, it's the most common thing in the world, but also the most special thing in the world. And before you start thinking you've got me confused with that Riddler guy, I'll just tell you the answer," he chuckled. The audience laughed along with him, as did the presenter. "It's love," he continued. "My Harley girl saved me – she loved me, she had faith in me, and that gave me the strength to face the madman I'd become and take control of him. She helped me, using her skills as a psychiatrist and as a woman. I wouldn't be the man I am today if not for her. They say behind every successful man is a wonderful woman, and if I am considered a successful man, it's only because of my wonderful woman who never stopped believing, and never gave up on me. Can I bring her out? I don't like being away from her for too long – she's just so precious to me."

There was a collective "aww" from the audience, which only increased as the presenter nodded, and Joker went to the wings and pulled Harley onto the screen. She was blushing and waved shyly at the audience, but couldn't have looked happier as Joker sat down on the sofa again and pulled her into his lap, kissing her tenderly. "Now I want you all to take a look at this gal and tell me I ain't just the luckiest guy in the world," said Joker, grinning. "This woman, Katie, this woman is the reason I have a smile on my face all the time. I owe her everything. The man you see today only exists because of her, so please give her the biggest round of applause you can. She certainly deserves it."

The audience cheered and hooted and Harley blushed deeper. "Aw, puddin'," she breathed, kissing him. "You're such a sweetheart."

"And may I just say, I just think you're the cutest couple," cooed the presenter.

"Well, one half of us is," replied Joker, beaming at Harley as the audience laughed again. "But can I just say, if there are any guys in the audience who are lucky enough to have the love of a special woman, don't you ever take her for granted. She's the best thing that'll ever happen to your life, and you should treat her like the angel she is every single day. She deserves it."

The women in the audience all began cheering and applauding enthusiastically, and awwing as Harley kissed him again. "Dr. Quinzel…"

"Call me Harley, everyone does," interrupted Harley, smiling.

"Harley, I think we'd all like to thank you for turning the Joker from the monster he was into the charming man he is today," said the presenter, smiling at her. "Why do you think it took this long to rehabilitate him?"

"Well, puddin's a pretty complex guy," replied Harley, stroking his hair. "There's a lot going on in his head, and he had a pretty tragic past to cope with. I think you all probably know he was the victim of an accident involving Batman. He never really came to terms with that, he just kept reliving it over and over again by engaging Batman in all kinds of fights, subconsciously hoping that if he kept repeating the scenario, he could change what had happened. He became obsessed with Batman, and Batman certainly didn't help the situation."

"Do you think he shares some blame for the Joker being incurable for as long as he was?" asked the presenter.

"I don't like to point fingers," replied Harley. "It's in the past, so let it go. No need to blame anyone anymore now that we can finally get on with our lives."

"But you do believe Batman is in some way responsible for the Joker's former insanity?"

"I'll put it this way, Katie," said Joker. "It takes two to tango. Batman knew I was mentally ill, and insisted on punching me out anyway. I don't blame the guy – I did some really terrible things. But I think if he had been willing to try to find another way to settle our differences, we could have reached this point a long time ago. I mean, considering he was the guy who caused my accident, you think he might have been more sympathetic from the first. But hey, I don't judge him. Like I said, I deserved it, and like Harley says, it's in the past. Let's get on with our lives."

"Well, you seem to be doing really well with that," replied the presenter, smiling sincerely. "I wish you both all the best, Mr. Joker, Dr. Quinzel. Thank you so much for being here today."

"My pleasure, Katie," replied Joker, nodding. "And like I said, Harley's the one who deserves all your thanks. Please give her another hand, folks. I love you, baby."

Everyone cheered and applauded again as Joker kissed Harley. Bruce flicked off the TV and turned to look at Alfred, whose usual stiff-upper-lipness couldn't conceal a look of disgust.

"It is a joke, sir?" he asked.

"Of course it is," replied Bruce. "I don't buy it for a second. Do you?"

"No, sir. But then what is the game, exactly?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," murmured Bruce, lacing his fingers together again. "I thought he was going to say something insulting about Batman, maybe try to start a campaign of hatred against me, but he didn't. I don't understand. He's not playing by his usual rules, pretending to be sane, so I have no way of reading him, or predicting his next move. I don't like it."

"Nor do I, sir," agreed Alfred. "But while you're waiting for him to make his move, at least you have the pleasure of Miss Kyle's company at the opera tomorrow night."

Bruce smiled. "I had forgotten about that. It'll be nice to take a break from clowns."

Alfred handed him the tickets. "Or not, sir," he replied, dryly. "It's _Pagliacci_."


	5. Chapter 5

"Do you think we'll end up having the box all to ourselves, Bruce?" asked Selina Kyle, looking around at the two empty seats behind them. "I certainly hope so. If the show gets boring, we can always make our own entertainment."

"I'm sure I'm going to lose interest very quickly," replied Bruce, smiling. "I've had enough of clowns to last me a lifetime."

"Well, if the rumors are true, you won't have to deal with them anymore," said Selina.

"And you think the rumors are true?" said Bruce.

Selina shrugged. "I saw his performance on the talkshow yesterday. It seemed sincere, but I don't trust him as far as I can throw him. Put it down to experience."

"Same here," agreed Bruce.

"But hey, there's always hope for a miracle," said Selina, grinning. "And maybe if the clown has finally given up the comedy routine, a big, bad Bat I know can spend a little more time hanging around a certain Kitty cat," she breathed, leaning forward to kiss him.

"Thanks for showing us the seats, sport, he's a tip for ya. Gee, Harley, it's amazing how nice people are to you when you're not trying to kill them," said a voice Bruce recognized with a sudden chill of horror. He turned to see the Joker and Harley Quinn entering the box hand in hand. Joker recognized him and smiled. "Why, it's Bruce Wayne, isn't it? And Miss Selina Kyle! How wonderful to see you again!"

Bruce recovered himself quickly and smiled back. "No introductions are necessary for you, Mr. Joker. Dr. Quinzel," he said, shaking their hands.

"Yeah, it's the one advantage of having a face like mine – you never have to introduce yourself!" laughed Joker, in that unnatural laugh of his. Bruce forced a smile at the joke.

"What brings you to the opera?" he asked.

"Thought I'd treat my little Harley girl to a classy night out," said Joker, beaming at her. "Just to celebrate her book deal. We had champagne at dinner, caviar, snails, the whole shebang."

"Didn't much care for the snails," said Harley, making a face. "Or the caviar. Dunno what you rich people see in that."

"You've written a book?" asked Selina.

"Not yet," replied Harley. "But when we were on the talkshow the other day I told someone there that I was thinking of writing the story of how I cured Mr. J, and our whole relationship and everything, and today I got this phone call from a publisher saying he'd pay me in advance for it. So I agreed."

"She's got beauty, brains, talent, and she looks great in a cocktail dress," said Joker, grinning at her. "How lucky can a guy get?"

"Oh, puddin'," she breathed, kissing him. "I love you."

"Things certainly seem to be going well for you both since your rehabilitation," said Bruce. "It must be so rewarding to have turned your life around so much."

"Brucie, you have no idea," said Joker, taking the seat next to him. "I mean when you're young and foolish, you think life's a game with no limits, and you make mistakes and have some fun without thinking of the consequences. But there comes a point in your life when you just wanna settle down with the right gal. You take my advice, you snap this little kitten up this instant before some other guy tries to take her off the market," he said, gesturing to Selina. "She ain't gonna wait around forever."

"Oh…well…thanks for the advice, Mr. Joker…" began Bruce.

"Call me J," he interrupted. "I'm just trying to help out a fellow guy in love. You are in love with her, Brucie, I can tell, so why wait? Life is short. And good things don't come to those who wait – they come to those who seize the day and take control of their lives. Y'see, I used to think that life was some kinda crazy carnival ride, and you just had to sit back and enjoy it. But I see now that I was wrong. Life is whatever you make of it. I don't presume to criticize a playboy billionaire, far from it, but some things in life are worth taking a little more seriously. You think about that," he said, patting him on the shoulder.

Bruce gaped at him, stunned by the fact that he was being lectured about taking his life seriously by the Joker. "Oh…ok, thanks, J," he stammered.

"It's my pleasure," he said. "I know you lost your father young, Brucie, so I'm just glad I'm able to pass on some fatherly advice. Wish I'd had a good father figure in my life to keep me on the straight and narrow, someone who'd made mistakes in life so I wouldn't have to. Here, you ever wanna talk, you give me a call," he said, scribbling down his number and handing it to Bruce. "I feel like we've got kinda a connection, like we're old friends or something. Funny how you just click with certain people, isn't it?"

"Yeah…yeah, it is," said Bruce, taking the number and putting it in his pocket.

"He's just an angel, ain't he, Bruce?" sighed Harley, draping her arms around his neck and hugging him. "Such a swell guy. I'm a lucky gal."

"I told you a million times, baby, I'm the one who's lucky," murmured Joker, kissing her.

Bruce and Selina shared a look. The situation was incredibly uncomfortable for both of them, nevermind the fact that they both had secret identities to conceal.

"So what language is this one in, and how do we figure out what's going on?" asked Harley, glancing at the programme.

"There's a synopsis in the programme, but there are subtitles over the stage," explained Selina. "This one's in Italian."

"That's the one that sounds like Spanish, huh, Mr. J?"

"That's right, Harley baby."

"Yeah, I don't know any Spanish. Or Italian. Is this one a comedy? It's got a clown in it, so it's a comedy, right?"

"No, it's a tragedy," replied Bruce.

"But it's got a clown in it," repeated Harley, puzzled.

"Hey, not all clowns are happy, sweets," chuckled Joker. "Remember what I used to be like. Oh sure, I pretended to be happy, but inside I was a seething cauldron of hatred and fear and confusion and rage. Which I would have drowned in if not for you, baby."

"Oh, Mr. J," she sighed, adoringly, kissing him again.

Bruce was relieved when the overture started and the curtain rose, just so he could forget about them for a few hours. Unfortunately, they wouldn't let him forget. They kept whispering to each other throughout the opera – Joker was obviously making jokes about the action on stage and Harley kept giggling. At one point Joker joined in with the aria, changing the lyrics to "No more Rice Krispies! We are out of Rice Krispies!" which had Harley in stitches. During the interval, Bruce and Selina excused themselves to the bar just to get away from them.

"That was one unhappy clown," said Joker as they filed out of the box when the opera was over. "Not like me. And any realism it had was ruined by the ending – there's a lot more blood when you stab someone. It sprays everywhere, especially if you hit an artery like he did."

"I didn't really understand who everyone was – the Italian names were hard to keep track of," said Harley. "I don't get why you rich people like sitting through these either. The story was stupid, the acting was kinda stiff and boring, the singing was nice but there was too much of it. I just don't think opera's for me."

"Different strokes for different folks, baby," Joker replied, kissing her cheek. "Bruce and Selina seem to like it."

"Yeah, it was good," said Bruce. It could have been – he hadn't really been paying attention. He had been trying to figure out what Joker's game was, and how he could stop it.

They had been walking down the stairs and heading for the door when they were suddenly swarmed by a group of young women. Bruce sighed inwardly – this was a constant hazard of being the celebrity that he was. He always had to fight off attention from young, attractive women. It didn't sound like too grim a fate, but it got tiresome after awhile. Still, he put on a smile, which fell as he realized that they weren't seeking his attention, but the Joker's.

"One at a time, ladies, please!" chuckled Joker, as the women thrust pictures at him to sign.

"Oh, Mr. Joker, you're such an inspirational man!" cooed one.

"And so handsome!"

"Why are all the good ones taken?"

"Hey, you keep your pretty chin up – there's a guy out there who deserves a gorgeous dame like you," said Joker, signing her picture and returning it. "You keep smiling, sweets."

"Oh, he's so sweet!"

"And so dangerous! But in a nice way."

"Mr. Joker, will you sign me?" murmured a girl, handing him a marker and holding open her jacket.

Joker chuckled. "Not sure my Harley girl would like me signing a dame's chest. How about the arm, sweetheart? I'm flattered, really, but spoken for, and I would never wanna do anything to remotely hurt my Harley girl."

The women all sighed and looked at Harley jealously as she kissed him. Joker signed the woman's arm and handed her back the marker, and then made his way to the door still followed by adoring fans. Bruce glared after him. He couldn't believe the people of Gotham were buying Joker's rehabilitation. He couldn't believe they were all so easily fooled. Whatever the joke was, he was hoping Joker got to the punchline soon. It wasn't funny anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

Joker woke up suddenly, thinking he heard a noise by the window. He tried to sit up gently without waking Harley, but he was holding her tightly in his arms and couldn't help moving her when he drew them away. "Puddin'?" she murmured, sleepily. "What is it?"

"Thought I heard a noise, baby," he murmured, kissing her. "Just go back to sleep now. Daddy will handle it."

"Ok, puddin'," she breathed, curling up and smiling. "I love you."

He kissed her again and climbed out of bed, heading over to the window and looking out at the Gotham skyline. He couldn't see anything, so shrugged and returned to bed.

"Must have been my imagination, pumpkin," he murmured, embracing her again.

"You got a real active imagination, Mr. J," she replied, snuggling against him. "And, y'know, we're both awake now. So how about putting it to good use?" she murmured, smiling and kissing him.

He smiled back. "Oooh, baby, you read my mind. Nothing like a little early morning mischief. What kinda trouble do you wanna start with?"

"Mmm, I dunno, Mr. J," she breathed. "Maybe you could do some stabbings, and set off a little explosion, and savor the screaming, my big, bad, strong lover."

She sighed in delight as he climbed on top of her, kissing her tenderly. "Oh, Mr. J, start the hurting!" she gasped.

At that moment, a black shape crashed through the window, sending glass flying everywhere. Harley screamed as Joker flicked on the lights, to reveal Batman.

"What the hell is wrong with you, B-man?!" shrieked Harley, whose shock had turned to anger as she clutched the blankets to her chest. "Doncha have any respect for people's privacy?!"

"I'm…sorry," said Batman, slowly. He had been listening in on the clown's conversation, and was under the impression that they were planning to unleash mayhem on the citizens of Gotham. He hadn't realized that this was the sort of talk that got them in the mood.

"You better be sorry!" snapped Harley. "It's four in the goddamn morning! What do you mean just crashing in here and disturbing innocent people?! Oughta be ashamed of yourself!"

"Relax, pooh, it was an honest mistake," chuckled Joker. "Kinda funny really, doncha think, Bats?"

"An honest mistake?!" repeated Harley, furiously. "What's he doing spying on us anyway, huh, Mr. J?! We ain't done nothing wrong! We're both free, sane, innocent civilians and we shouldn't have to put up with being randomly assaulted by some freak in a costume at all hours of the morning! It ain't right! It ain't constitutional! Now you better get the hell outta here, Bats, before I really lose my temper and start beating the crap outta ya! I would be worried I'd be committed for it again, but under the circumstances, I'm sure people would see it as completely justified!"

"Harley, calm down, pumpkin pie," murmured Joker, kissing her forehead. "Bats has clearly been missing us and just wanted to stop by to say hi, but didn't know how without admitting he'd been missing us. That's right, isn't it, Bats? It's ok, you can tell me."

"I…"

"You better say you're sorry again before you say anything else!" shrieked Harley. "And you better pay for that window! Jesus, Bats, don't you have any consideration for people's property?! How would you feel if I went over to the Batcave and started smashing crap around?! What kinda sick freak are you, anyway, spying on people at four in the morning?! Don't you have anything better to do?! Why aren't you asleep like everyone else in the goddamn universe?! What the hell is your problem?!"

"I…"

"Don't bother, Bats, you can't reason with her in this state," interrupted Joker. He kissed her and murmured, "You stay here and try to calm down, kiddo. C'mon, Bats, I'll make you a cup of coffee."

"Do me a favor and throw it in his stupid face, Mr. J!" screamed Harley after them. "It would serve you right, you dumb jerk! Ruining everything, you big, stupid, ugly bat! I wish I was still crazy so I could shoot you in the face!"

Joker shut the door and led Batman to the kitchen. "Have a seat," he said, going over to the coffee machine.

Batman was not at all comfortable with the situation of being in Joker's kitchen, or of being a guest of his at all. It wasn't as if they were friends. They were enemies, arch nemeses, even if Joker refused to acknowledge that anymore. Batman would not forget it.

"I am right, aren't I?" asked Joker, turning to smile at him. "You are missing us. That's why you're here, isn't it?"

"You have never been right about anything," growled Batman.

Joker grinned. "I have," he murmured. "I was right about you setting out to ruin my happiness. I mean, you can't blame Harley for being upset. We don't deserve to be terrorized, and we shouldn't have to live in fear from you randomly crashing into our home. And yet, here we are. Why is that, Bats? Why can't you just let it go?"

"Because I don't trust you," he retorted. "But the joke's gone on long enough, and it's not funny anymore. Either get to the punchline or give up this ridiculous charade."

Joker smiled. "It's driving you crazy, isn't it?" he whispered. "The fact that I've changed, that I don't want to play our silly game anymore, that you don't have me to kick around anymore. It's driving you stark raving mad."

"Is that the joke?" demanded Batman.

"I dunno – do you think it's funny?" asked Joker. "You're the one obsessed with jokes here, Bats, not me. I've given all that up and moved on. Maybe you should do the same."

"Joker, stop this now," said Batman, firmly.

"Stop what, Bats? I'm not doing anything wrong."

"Yes, and that's the problem," hissed Batman. "This isn't you. I know there's some horrible, sick, twisted point to all this, something that you think is really funny. I know you."

Joker grinned. "Do you?" he murmured. "Do you really, Bats? See, maybe that's the problem. Maybe you don't know me as well as you think – maybe you don't know me at all. And maybe that bothers you more than you let on. Because if you don't know me, Bats, if someone like me, who you could always depend on, who was always a constant in your life, always there to be the bad guy, causing havoc and mayhem, if someone like me could change…then maybe you're wrong. Maybe you're wrong about more than you care to think about. Maybe all this time when you were so sure you were playing the hero, you were wrong. Bad guys never think they're bad, do they? I know I never did – everything I did was right in my head. But then I was crazy, Bats. And crazy people never think they're crazy either. No, they're completely confident that they're right. Fighting for what they believe to be true. Funny, isn't it, how hard it is to tell a hero from a lunatic?"

He laughed, a normal, dry chuckle, and then handed him a mug of coffee. Batman examined it closely. "There's something in this," he muttered.

"Why would there be?"

"You know why."

Joker chuckled again, then picked up the mug and drank from it. "Pledge of good faith," he said, handing it to him. "But you don't have to have it if you don't want it – I'll finish it."

Batman glared from him to the mug, then stood up. "I will be watching you," he murmured. "Because you are going to slip up soon. And when that happens, I'll be waiting."

"Like I said, Bats, suit yourself," replied Joker, shrugging. "Just don't drop in on us again unannounced or I won't be held responsible for Harley's actions," he laughed. "I'll send the bill for the window to Commissioner Gordon, and he can pass it on to you, can't he?"

Batman didn't respond, heading for the kitchen window. "You think about what I've said," he muttered.

"And you think about what I've said," replied Joker, grinning. "But not too hard now – I wouldn't want you to lose your mind," he chuckled. "G'night, Bats."

Batman ignored him, jumping from the window into the night sky. Joker watched him fly off and smiled, chuckling softly to himself. "You coming back to bed, puddin'?" called Harley from the bedroom.

"Yeah, sweets, just a second," he called back, draining the mug and returning to the bedroom.

"Bats gone?" yawned Harley.

"Yeah."

"Did you throw coffee in his face?"

Joker grinned. "That wouldn't have been very nice, would it, pooh?"

"It would have been what he deserved," growled Harley. "Why can't he just leave us alone?"

"You're my sexy little shrink, you tell me," he said, climbing into bed and kissing her.

She thought for a second. "Obsessive personality disorder, mixed with complete dependency on an alter ego he's fashioned for himself, so much so that it's begun to overshadow whoever he actually is. When some constant involving that alter ego is removed, say you, Mr. J, he begins to fear that the entire identity he has shaped for himself will crumble. And if that happens, he's got nothing left. It's a pretty terrible thought, and it drives him to desperate acts, and an even greater increase of his obsessive personality."

"My diagnosis exactly, Dr. Quinzel," murmured Joker, smiling at her.

Harley shrugged. "Poor Bats," she sighed, cuddling into his arms again. "I guess we oughta feel sorry for him, Mr. J."

"I do, kiddo," he breathed, kissing the top of her head and holding her gently. "I really do."


	7. Chapter 7

"Sir, there have been reports of the Penguin wiring a series of explosives for…"

"I'm busy," interrupted Batman, turning up the volume on the radio.

"The Riddler has also sent Commissioner Gordon a series of challenges for you to…"

"Busy," repeated Batman.

"And Poison Ivy has attacked a small cargo ship transporting…"

"Alfred, I'm trying to listen to the radio," retorted Batman, interrupting him. "Please be quiet. Tell Gordon to handle them – I'm sure he's capable. I'm a little preoccupied at the moment."

"Yes. With a certifiably sane individual living a perfectly normal life," muttered Alfred.

"Are you buying his act now?" demanded Batman, whirling around angrily. "I thought you at least would be on my side."

"I neither believe nor disbelieve him, sir," retorted Alfred. "But the fact remains that he hasn't done anything wrong, and Batman should be concerned with people who have. He shouldn't let potential crimes distract him from actual crimes. The city needs you, sir. The people need you."

"Do they?" demanded Batman. "That's not what I hear."

He turned up the volume on the radio again, where the Joker was being interviewed by a female presenter. "…in a recent poll for women aged 18-40, you were voted their number one guilty fantasy, beating out Batman for the first year running. How does that make you feel?"

Joker laughed. "Well, obviously it's very flattering, although of course I wouldn't want my Harley to be jealous. But it's nice to have at least one victory over my old rival."

"Speaking of Batman, there was an incident involving him recently, wasn't there? He broke into your home?"

"The police and the media really blew that out of proportion – it was an honest misunderstanding. I don't bear him any ill will for it."

"Still, it must have been harrowing. He shouldn't be allowed to terrorize you like that, should he? You're a model citizen now, a credit to our justice system, which is surely what Batman wants. Why does he persist in harrassing you?"

"He's got a lotta trust issues, Bats. I think he'd be the first to admit that. But I also think he just kinda misses me. I'm probably the closest thing he had to a friend, and suddenly I'm not there anymore…it must be hard for him, y'know?"

"You don't think he's secretly just a bully, a man who doesn't really care about justice or redemption but someone who just enjoys picking on people weaker than he is?"

"I know a lot of people in the media have been saying that, but I would never say anything like that about him. I love the guy. He was always there for me. I don't pretend to know the reasons why he does what he does, but I'm sure they're perfectly honorable ones. I don't wanna see Gotham's hero turned into a villain on my account. What kinda sick joke would that be?"

"You're more gracious than most people would be, given the circumstances."

"Well, I'm a nice guy, really," he chuckled. "It's just taken me a long time to realize that."

"You certainly are, Mr. Joker. And I for one think no one is more deserving of the Key to the City of Gotham than you. Are you excited about the ceremony tomorrow?"

"Kelly, I can honestly say I have never been more excited about anything in my life. Excited, flattered, and beyond overwhelmed by the extraordinary kindness and generosity of the people of this city, to put their faith and trust in me after everything I've done to them. I know there's no way I'll ever be able to make it up to them, but I just want them to know I am deeply touched and humbled by the honor. Y'know, a guy like me, a freak, can make a lotta mistakes, but the one mistake I didn't make was staying in this incredible city full of incredible people. The only thing I could ask from the people of Gotham is that they show Batman the same mercy and forgiveness they've shown me. He's a great guy, and he tries so hard. He deserves some thanks."

"Mr. Joker, you are such an inspiration, and it has been a true pleasure talking to you. Thank you so much for coming. I look forward to seeing you again at the ceremony tomorrow."

"Thank you for having me, Kelly. Can't wait."

Batman flicked off the radio, seething in rage. The Joker was being gracious towards him, telling the people of Gotham to cut him some slack – the Joker! And they were listening to the Joker! The whole thing was like some big, stupid…

"That's his joke," murmured Batman, quietly. "He's turned himself into the hero. He's made us swap places, he's the hero and I'm the villain. That's his joke. It must be…he wants me to see what it's like, to be loathed and hated, the way he is…was."

"Forgive me, sir, but you've never been particularly popular," said Alfred. "I understand you're not concerned about the public's perception of you…"

"But they always knew I was the good guy," interrupted Batman. "They always knew I was on the right side. And now Joker's the good guy, and he's on the right side. He's an even better hero than I am, and he hasn't done anything to deserve it. He's completely won over the public, his face is everywhere, he's loved by everyone, and he's done absolutely nothing…while I fight every single day of my life, and I haven't received any appreciation from a grateful city. You're right, I don't care about that, but Joker would find it funny. He just said it himself, turning the hero into the villain would be a really sick joke. And those are just his kind of jokes."

He turned and headed toward the Batmobile. "I'm going to go confront him. Now that I've figured it out, he'll drop the charade."

"I certainly hope so, sir," murmured Alfred, as he drove off. "For Gotham, and your own, sake."


	8. Chapter 8

"Batsy, what a nice surprise! Thanks for not breaking a window this time!" chuckled Joker, as he opened the door to see Batman standing there.

"I've figured it out, Joker."

"What?" asked Joker, puzzled.

"The joke."

"What joke?"

"Your joke, the reason why you're doing this. I've figured it out, so you can stop pretending now."

Joker grinned. "I told you, Bats, I'm not pretending."

"And I've told you, I don't believe you," growled Batman. "You've fooled everyone, but you're never going to fool me."

Joker laughed. "I can just see us ending up in a rest home together, me trying to quietly mind my own business and enjoy my remaining few years with Harley, and you following us around, stalking our wheelchairs, because you simply can't accept the fact that we've changed. It'll happen, Bats – I know you're too stubborn ever to give up."

"That's right, I am," retorted Batman. "And no, I don't get any thanks for it. But that doesn't mean I'm not the hero. It doesn't mean I'm not the good guy, even if they can't see it. You haven't won, Joker."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean," he replied, smiling patiently.

"I mean your joke. You want to show how easily heroes can fall from grace. How heroes and villains are all arbitrary, interchangable, how you and me are the same person really. That's your obsession."

"Hmm…nice theory, Bats," said Joker, grinning. "And if this whole thing was a joke, that would be a pretty good punchline. But it's not. I told you, I've changed. I'm cured."

Batman was seized by sudden fury. He grabbed Joker by the collar and slammed him against the wall. "You're not! You can't be! So stop pretending right now!"

"You go ahead and hit me, Bats," murmured Joker, grinning. "I can't wait to tell the police all about the unprovoked assault on an innocent man by Gotham's hero."

Batman raised his fist and Joker just smiled back at him. Batman's fist shook in fury. He had figured out the joke, but Joker wouldn't admit it. He wouldn't give up the game. Well, Batman wasn't going to play it anymore.

"Stop acting now," he hissed.

"I ain't acting, Bats. I'm cured."

"You're not! You can't be!"

"Why not?"

"Because I…" Batman's voice faltered for a second, and Joker grinned.

"You what? Go on, say it Bats. You need me, don't you? You've finally realized that, haven't you? You've got such a tough, strong, heroic persona, but in reality you're completely dependent on the very psychos and crazies you're trying to stop. You need them, or you're nothing. You need me, or there's no point. I'm the only one of those freaks who has ever really hurt you, Bats. I'm the only one who ever really scarred you, who hit you where it really hurts. I'm the only one who really matters. Without me, you're not Batman. So guess what? The joke's on you."

Joker suddenly burst out laughing, one of his crazy, maniacal laughs. And Batman realized, with a shock of horror, that he felt relieved to hear it. But he couldn't think about that, or anything else, for much longer, because he was abruptly struck on the head from behind and lost consciousness.


	9. Chapter 9

"How's the head, Bats?" came a familiar voice. Batman's opened his eyes to see the Joker standing in front of him, grinning. "Sorry if the beating was a little harder than necessary, but Harley's got a good arm and she was still angry at you for the other night."

"You shouldn't keep a gal from her fun, Bats," sniffed Harley, standing next to Joker and glaring. "Do you have any idea how rarely Mr. J is in the mood? And then you had to ruin everything…I hope you're in a lotta pain right now."

Batman was. He tried to move his arms but found he was tied to chair, in a dim room. He vaguely heard a noise from outside, what sounded like the voices of a crowd, chanting something…chanting "Joker."

Joker beamed. "Listen to them, my adoring public! Doesn't take much to win their love, does it? I guess that is kinda funny when you think about it. Your guess about the joke was close, Bats, but no cigar. It wasn't the main one anyway, but there are a lotta nice side-gags to this joke. The public turning on Batman, transforming the hero into the villain, the ease of winning popularity and love, the fickleness of the public, but those were all just bonuses. The gag, the real gag, was you, Bats. You being completely unable to cope without me. Showing you just what a joke you are, to yourself and to everyone. Showing you just how much you depend on me for your very existence. It's only through darkness that light can shine. Without me, Bats, you're nothing. That's the joke. I wanted you to see that."

He laughed suddenly, hysterically. "Or maybe I really was cured, and I went insane again because I felt bad for you! To save your sanity, I sacrificed mine! That's an even funnier joke! It's your fault I exist! It always has been and it always will be!"

He kept laughing, and then leaned forward, smiling. "Y'see, you'll never know. You'll never know if I was crazy and then was cured, and then went crazy again for you. Or if I've always been crazy, and I was planning this from the beginning. Or if I've never really been crazy, and this is all just an act. That uncertainty is going to eat away at you forever. And that, Bats, that really is funny."

He chuckled, then turned away. "C'mon, Harley girl, we've got a public to address. I've got a little speech prepared, and I've timed it so it's just under 20 minutes. Enough time to say it and go before the bomb goes off and blows you and the rest of those losers sky high. It's going to be a real blast."

Harley giggled, clapping her hands in excitement. "Kablooey, Mr. J! Oh, it's been too long!" she laughed, skipping after him as he left the room. Batman immediately began to struggle, rocking the chair backward and forward and managing to slam it onto the ground, breaking it into pieces. He slid his hands down to his utility belt and quickly cut the ropes, then ran for the door. Running up the stairs, he realized he had been tied up in the basement of City Hall, as he could now see the crowd outside the window. He heard them suddenly cheer as Joker appeared outside. He could also hear something else…an odd ticking.

"…promise not to bore you for too long – I've prepared a little speech that's only 20 minutes," said Joker's voice from the microphone outside. "Oops, did I say minutes? Silly me - I meant seconds. I just hate long, boring speeches, so I thought I'd keep it short and sweet and get straight to the punchline."

He laughed hysterically, and at that moment, Batman noticed the bomb right behind the podium where Joker was standing, counting down _10…9…8…7…6..._

Joker, meanwhile, just stood there. Batman wondered why he didn't run, but he didn't have time to think about it. He smashed through the glass, knocking Joker aside, grabbing the bomb and grappling up to the roof.

_3…2…1_ Batman launched it into the sky, waiting for the explosion. But it never came. There was a pop, and the bomb burst into streamers that sailed down on the crowd.

Batman stared at it in disbelief, and then at the crowd below, who were shouting at him as officials rushed over to see if Joker was all right. The bomb was a joke. Was it a double joke? Was it a bluff? He didn't understand this game…

And then the building opposite city hall suddenly exploded. Debris and rubble crashed down on the crowd, who were screaming and panicking and running. Batman immediately flew down to help, grabbing citizens and saving them from the fiery debris. He looked up once to see Joker still just standing by the podium, grinning at him.

The fire crews came and put out the blaze. The ambulances came and took away the wounded. Only five people had been killed, but to Batman, those were five too many. He knew Joker was responsible, and he was going to make him pay, even though Joker was being interviewed at the moment. Batman strode up to him and punched him in the face, then grabbed him by the collar and lifted him off his feet. "Are you going to come quietly or will I have to hurt you?" he growled.

"Batman, what are you doing?" demanded the newscaster, as police swarmed around them.

"He did this," growled Batman. "He planted that bomb."

"Do you have any proof of that?" snapped the newscaster.

"No," retorted Batman. "But I know he did."

"How do we know you didn't do it?" demanded someone from the crowd. "To make him look bad. It wouldn't be the first time you've tried to hurt him."

Batman couldn't respond. Why couldn't they see that he wasn't the enemy here?

"Put him down, Batman, or we'll have to use force," said Commissioner Gordon, clearly not comfortable with the situation. "You have no right to assault an innocent man."

Joker chuckled. "Yeah, Bats, innocent man here. Hands off," he said, smiling. Batman shook in fury, but dropped Joker to the ground.

Joker kept laughing, and then turned back to the newscaster. "I'd like to make a statement, if I may," he said.

"Of course, Mr. Joker," said the newscaster, as every camera and microphone fixed on Joker.

Joker turned to look at Batman and smiled. "This is for you, Bats," he murmured.

Then he turned to the camera, beaming. "I just wanna say that I did plant that bomb. So psych! Joke's on you! Bats is right. He knows me. He wasn't fooled by my rehabilitation, like the rest of you idiots. But then I guess you ain't the World's Greatest Detective," he chuckled. "It was all a lie, a joke, all of it. Well, what did you expect? I'm the Joker! Thank God for Batman, though, right? Without him, a lot more of you would have died from that bomb. Thank God he's here to protect you all from the weirdos and the crazies, thank God he's here to make this city a safer place, and to stop freaks like me. Yeah, thank God for Batman!"

He just stood there and laughed, doubling over, until the police dragged him away. It had never sounded more mocking to Batman.


	10. Chapter 10

"It was a lie from the beginning?" asked Dr. Leland.

"I think so," replied Batman. "But I'm not sure. No one is ever sure about what goes on in that head of his."

Dr. Leland sighed in relief. "Well, at least we were right. I was about to fear for my own sanity. I mean, if the Joker could be cured, it really would be a mad world, wouldn't it?"

"It already is," murmured Batman. "But I guess it needs to be. Without great evil, great good can't exist. It's only through darkness that light can shine."

"That's very poetic – is that a quote from someone?" asked Dr. Leland.

Batman was silent. "Yes," he muttered, simply. He turned and left the office. Dr. Leland shrugged, and then buzzed the intercom.

"Send her in please."

Harley Quinn was dragged into the room and placed on a chair. The guards left and there was silence. "What did you want to see me about, Joan?" asked Harley.

"I just wanted to know something," murmured Dr. Leland. "It was pretty obvious to me that Joker wasn't taking his rehabilitation seriously from the beginning. But you wanted to believe it, didn't you? Some small part of you actually wanted to believe he was cured. That stuff you told me about wasting your life, the clock ticking, your unfulfilled dreams and ambitions, you were serious about all that. Batman and I knew he was lying all along. Did you know? Did he tell you it was a joke?"

Harley was quiet. "I knew," she murmured. "He didn't tell me, but I knew. He commits himself heart and soul to his gags, though, and sometimes, for a few brief moments, I…forgot he wasn't serious. It was nice to forget for a little while."

She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "But you have to play the cards you're dealt, Joan," she said. "And I've been dealt the Joker. I'm a lucky gal."

Dr. Leland looked at her sadly. "Whatever you say, Harley," she sighed. "Thank you." She buzzed for the guards again.

"What he told everyone, when he was sane, all about how he loved me…that wasn't a joke," murmured Harley, gazing up at her.

"It's nice that you believe that, Harley," replied Dr. Leland, nodding.

"He does love me. He does," insisted Harley firmly, as she was dragged away. Dr. Leland looked after her and sighed again. She sincerely hoped Batman was wrong about Harley never being able to fall out of love with the Joker. But she wasn't optimistic. It was as likely as the Joker being cured. And there was no way to cure the Joker.

**The End **


End file.
